Who am I?

[Xypher]

Spoiler: March 3rd, 2011 - 5:27 pm - GMT -7 (Mountain Standard Time)

Well, after a bit of inactivity (grounded) I came back, and after being a rep whore on another forum, I have the tendency to check my reps often. I saw that Karma had repped me saying, "Who the fuck are you?" This is something I have always wanted to answer, but have always failed. This thread is my largest, and possibly my final attempt at it.

My interests and hobbies;
My interests and hobbies range from computers to psychology. I am not a man of a few interests that I want to pursue. Writing about each of my interests would be a waste of time for all, so here is a list.

Spoiler: Interests and Hobbies

Programming
Graphics
Web Design
Malware Removal
Computer Security
Forum Administration
Singing
Guitar
Music in General
Psychology
Psychiatry
Social Engineering
Drawing
Painting
Tennis
Gaming
Photography
Cinematography
Lego's
Sleep
Cooking
Philosophy
Religion (Debate of it)
Computer Science in General
Snowboarding
Yoga
Cats
Mythology
Robotics
Thinking/Thought

I am sure I have more, but they do not come to mind at the moment.

I am unorganized to others, yet perfectly organized in my own mind. I am a lazy student, I hate most everything, yet love many things. I could care less about any one, the only person I ever truly loved is dead, thanks to me. I am hard to figure out, I don't trust others, nor should many trust me. I am manipulative and tend to use people, both without knowing I am doing so, until I have already done it. If a god does in fact exist, then he chose me to experiment with when it comes to issues. I have depression/bipolarity, ADD, OCD, paranoia, slight schizophrenia, bad knees, a bad back, and a heart murmur that impedes me from being athletic. The bad knees and back are not a result of bad posture, they have always existed.

I am not a social person, it isn't because I don't have the skill, I just dislike people. Of everyone I have met, 3 people I have met in real life I have actually liked spending time with, the rest are online, but I wouldn't be overly upset if they died, well there are a few, but in the long run, I won't care.

I find what humanity has created to be disgusting, I find what we have done to the planet to be pathetic and the worst thing that has ever occurred in all of time, yet I do not have the energy to care about it, in other words, hypocrisy. I care more for cats than I due human life, if anyone were to kill my own cat, I would murder them in the most brutal way possible.

I am suicidal, I have planned and set my suicide date repeatedly, it always ends up being the same date, which each time I decide I will kill myself by then creeps closer and closer.

I am overly emotional, lazy, I have a horrid self esteem, yet a grand one, I blame bipolarity, others like to say I am an attention whore.

I am a horrible student when it comes to school itself. Last trimester, at the beginning, we started a 10 page research paper. It was due on the last day of. I didn't start researching my subject, let alone writing it until the day before. What makes that even worse is that I am about to fail out of high school, not that I am happy about it, I just can't make myself do the work.

On the flip side of that, I am one of the highest quality people I know, I can thank Hack Forums for that. The only reason I am so high quality was because if you are low quality on HF, you go no where but to a new account.

I know there is more to type, but I need to go now, I do not feel like saving this as a draft, I am still discovering myself. I might as well turn this into a change log, if you will. I am still discovering myself, I am 17 for fucks sake, I don't know who I am completely, I won't until I die, if even.

Karma, I hope this helps answer your question, to some extent.
Ask questions if you feel the need, but be prepared for a dick answer, not that I am saying it will be one, but who knows... I might be in a horrible mood when you ask.

 

[Provenance]

This is a stalker-ish question to ask, but where do you live? (State and/or Country)

 

[Xypher]

I live in Sun Valley Idaho, USA. Well, in one of the three cities that are part of the same valley as it.

 

[Provenance]

I don't usually see many people in this time zone.
Just sparked my curiosity.

 

[Xypher]

Ah, I see. I haven't seen many people from my time zone online either.

 

[Knight_mybb_import2516]

What is your shoe size?

 

[Xypher]

7 and a half male, in American sizing standards.

 

[Provenance]

You have really small feet. =/

What political system and/or political party do you favor the most.

 

[Xypher]

Realistically, a true democracy. In a more fantasy sense, stage 3 communism. It is the true Utopian government, but realistically, it is impossible to create.

Also, I am small myself. I am 5'6 and weigh 103 lbs.

 

[Provenance]

Is a true democracy that realistic either?
I guess it would be as the level of technology increases, but what about trust in the government?

 

[Xypher]

It is, Rome accomplished it, the US had it for a time, it isn't easy to accomplish, but it is realistic.

 

[Provenance]

I guess you're right.

Next Question: Do you think we ever will?

 

[Xypher]

No. Americans, as a general population, are too big headed and racist to allow it to be a true democracy. We are starting to fall, just as Rome did. Our time as the worlds power is coming to an end, so unless something superb occurs, we will never get the chance to be a true democracy.

 

[Provenance]

If we're beginning to fall, don't you think it would be the perfect time?
Empires are known to do drastic things when they are failing.

It wouldn't be that much of a reorganization effort, but there's always a chance.

 

[Xypher]

Now would be a grand time for that occur, but the question isn't whether now is a good time or not, it is whether it will actually happen or not.

 

[Magnetic]

Have you ever been outside of the US?

 

[Xypher]

Yes, many times before. I have been to Japan, Germany, France, Greece, Italy, UK(Ireland, Scotland, England, Whales), Holland, Belgium, Egypt, South Africa, Australia, Mexico, Belize, Canada, South Korea, and China.