The thought that drowns my mind.

Key

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So, what this thread is really about is just getting some things off my chest. Writing seemed to be the best way to speak my mind and soothe it in a way. Please do not post rude or hurtful things because this really does bother me. It's really the only thing that does. Now, on to what this thread is about.


Today, (12-8-12)/(December 8th, 2012) marks exactly 3 years since I lost my brother due to him passing away. Now in those 3 years, how he died is still under investigation. The news and Police all tried to pass it off as he was drunk driving. However I knew my brother better than anyone, and he didn't drink. Ever. My family and I have met with hundreds and hundreds of investigators. Now, 3 years later, they all are saying the same thing as to how my brother actually was killed. Murder. The night he died, I had been talking to him all night. I remember he told me he loved me and some other things, but I didn't think anything of it. I thought he was just being my brother. When I woke up the next morning, my parents had told me what happened, and I can't describe the feeling that hit me. I felt like a hole went through my chest. Like I couldn't breathe. Any way, I'd give anything to know what truly happened that night. It would answer so many questions. It's the thoughts that always come into my head that really bother me, but I just have to live with them. Hopefully next year around this time, I will know what happened. Or at least have a decent idea. Enough of this though, it's a little too personal. I really just wanted to share with you guys and get it off my chest. If you read this all the way to the bottom, thank you very much. It means a lot.

If anyone has lost someone of importance or someone close to them (parent, bother, sister, etc.) feel free to talk to me about it if you'd like. I've been through it. I'd be glad to help you out.

Cheers guys.
 
Yeah i lost my Uncle a year ago i know how it feels bro.<3
 
Thanks for all the kind words guys. It means so much.
 
Sorry to hear that. Hope you get to know how he died
 
It hurts I know, I lost my father at a young age, yet I remember it so vividly. I try to look at his passing as a virtue instead of a bad thing. The experience of losing someone close to you can teach you many things, especially when you're young, things that you wouldn't realize if you never did.
 
Cannibаl said:
It hurts I know, I lost my father at a young age, yet I remember it so vividly. I try to look at his passing as a virtue instead of a bad thing. The experience of losing someone close to you can teach you many things, especially when you're young, things that you wouldn't realize if you never did.
I know exactly what you mean man. Very sorry to hear about your father.
 
my older brother fell into a coma and never woke from it.

I do not know what point I'm trying to make but Key, just know that there are some people here that have experienced similar and can offer advice or just be there to talk to.

I can't begin to think how mind fucked you are about how he actually died.
but I do hope that you one day find out. I can assure you that it'll feel like a humongous weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

always here bro.
 
Eevee said:
my older brother fell into a coma and never woke from it.

I do not know what point I'm trying to make but Key, just know that there are some people here that have experienced similar and can offer advice or just be there to talk to.

I can't begin to think how mind fucked you are about how he actually died.
but I do hope that you one day find out. I can assure you that it'll feel like a humongous weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

always here bro.

Very kind words. I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well. The thought of what happened to my brother just scares me. The thought of not knowing really is what gets me. That nobody knows actually..
 
Key said:
Very kind words. I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well. The thought of what happened to my brother just scares me. The thought of not knowing really is what gets me. That nobody knows actually..

that's exactly what I mean with the mind fuckery.
I can't begin to imagine how much it plays with your mind.
but keep your head strong.
good will prevail, and we shall find out :] one day.
 
Eevee said:
that's exactly what I mean with the mind fuckery.
I can't begin to imagine how much it plays with your mind.
but keep your head strong.
good will prevail, and we shall find out :] one day.
Hopefully man. One thing that REALLY makes my mind just spin, is that at his funeral, it was a closed casket. I never saw him. We couldn't see him. It just like creeps on me if he actually died, or if it was just something that happened or what. It's weird. Anyway, I gave you some green for the kind words. Thanks once again.
 
Key said:
Hopefully man. One thing that REALLY makes my mind just spin, is that at his funeral, it was a closed casket. I never saw him. We couldn't see him. It just like creeps on me if he actually died, or if it was just something that happened or what. It's weird. Anyway, I gave you some green for the kind words. Thanks once again.

woahwoahwoah.
now that's even playing with my head.
fuck :(
any way you can request to see documents from the morgue or infirmary or police?
 
Eevee said:
woahwoahwoah.
now that's even playing with my head.
fuck :(
any way you can request to see documents from the morgue or infirmary or police?
They won't let us know anything. It's been three years. what is your AIM? I will tell you more on there.
 
Key, I want to learn more. Sorry for your loss. I have not yet experienced something like this (Hopefully never)
 
Justice Jr. said:
Key, I want to learn more. Sorry for your loss. I have not yet experienced something like this (Hopefully never)

If I really revealed everything, it would bother me personally. The entire thing literally scares the absolute shit out of me. There's so many weird and odd things that do NOT add up. At all. Sometimes I'm scared for my own safety. It's that mind fucking man.
 
Key said:
They won't let us know anything. It's been three years. what is your AIM? I will tell you more on there.

my aim is e.evee
but being British it's 1am here and I have to be up in 5 hours so I'm just chilling on FK on my phone while I'm falling asleep.
talk to me on there though and I'll get back to you tomorrow.
 
Eevee said:
my aim is e.evee
but being British it's 1am here and I have to be up in 5 hours so I'm just chilling on FK on my phone while I'm falling asleep.
talk to me on there though and I'll get back to you tomorrow.
Alright man will do. Just go to sleep. LOL.
 
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