PRO TIP: How to Drive Drunk.

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WARNING: DRIVING DRUNK IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND ILLEGAL, THIS SHOULD ONLY BE DONE AS AN ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT.
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So you find yourself at a party pretty fucked up, and for one reason or another you have to drive your ass home. How do you do it?

1. Turn off your phone and put it in the glove box.
-This prevents you from becoming distracted by someone calling/texting/facebook.

2. When you sit down,
a. PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT.
b. Both hands on the wheel. I know it might be weird since most people drive with one hand, but it helps you steer better and keeps you more concentrated.

3. Drive 5 MPH below the speed limit.
-Its really easy to forget about controlling your gas pedal, so this leaves some leeway so you don't start speeding.

4. Try to follow somebody.
- If your drunk enough, the road lines and markings will probably start to swerve. Do not follow the lines, try to follow the vehicle in front of you, if possible.

5. Avoid switching lanes.
-Only switch lanes when absolutely necessary. It can be really easy to not see some1 beside you and potentially hit them.

6. If possible, drive alone.
- If it can be avoided you should drive alone, if your driving some1 their going to be drunk (if not they would drive) and be very distracting

7. Close one eye, put your hands "10 n 2" on the steering wheel and put your thumbs in the "up" position and stay between them (credits to @"saint")

Learned most of this from personal experience/friends. Will update when I remember other shit to put in it.
 
I guess thanks for sharing this but I don't think it's ever a good idea to promote drunk driving. I'm saying this only because drunk drivers usually don't remember these guides or have solid control.

But this guide is well done and it seems you did put effort into it so good job. edit: I saw that but I still wanted to add my 2 cents...
 
Or just don't drink drive at all lol.

taxi.
 
Famous™ said:
Or just don't drink drive at all lol.

taxi.

This is mostly for when this is your only possible option. Sometimes a taxi isn't an option
 
Just a suggestion, maybe add that people should consider sleeping in their car if they can. Other then that I get why you posted this, incase someone was to ignore your warning anyway.
 
Relapse said:
Famous™ said:
Or just don't drink drive at all lol.

taxi.

This is mostly for when this is your only possible option. Sometimes a taxi isn't an option

but if you crash, and kill someone, even if it's not your fault at all, you will go to jail for a long time.
 
Famous™ said:
Relapse said:
Famous™ said:
Or just don't drink drive at all lol.

taxi.

This is mostly for when this is your only possible option. Sometimes a taxi isn't an option

but if you crash, and kill someone, even if it's not your fault at all, you will go to jail for a long time.

Hence the warning lol
 
I'm gonna print this out, and tape it to the dash in my car, thanks :)
 
Saint said:
Pro tip. Close one eye, put your hands "10 n 2" on the steering wheel and put your thumbs in the "up" position and stay between them :p

thats good added it
 
I always drive drunk, it's like nothing to me now lol.
 
Haha we just have my cousin for a designated drunk driver, but awesome guide. Will verify soon!~ :wink:
 
This is actually really good, but how many of us are going to remember it when we're drunk?
 
Crysis said:
This is actually really good, but how many of us are going to remember it when we're drunk?

I actually have it like embed into my memory from using it a lot, if you just try to remember most of it you'll be a lot better off.
 
Relapse said:
I actually have it like embed into my memory from using it a lot, if you just try to remember most of it you'll be a lot better off.

Hmm, I guess it would be exactly like me knowing my way to my house from certain places after a party, because I've done it more than once it's embedded into me to just know where to go etc.

and I'll try this when I really need to drive, I usually stay over at the persons house and/or get a lift from someone who didn't drink.
 
FYI, if someone can't remember how to drive because they're drunk, what makes you think they'll remember these steps?

This thread is awful. You shouldn't be promoting this, even if it's a last resort. There's always a way out of driving.
 
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