My mom started smoking

[Ride My Yak]

you could always Make Her Feel bad insted of Angering her even more and more... if you say to her , THATS IT , ive had enough!!! i dont even fucking care any more, Kill yourself with those Shit Cigaretes Just Like uncle!!! i hate you !!! - I pritty much did that to my Dad And it worked

Jesus lol i couldn't talk to my mom like that.

 

[Solidify]

Jesus lol i couldn't talk to my mom like that.

Effective but it's bit too harsh.After all, I'm sure my mom's decision to take up smoking again has something to do with my uncle's passing as well. Sure, her boyfriend didn't make it easier but in same way, maybe she feels smoking is the only way she can keep my uncle close to her. Everyone has their own grieving process; unfortunately, hers risks killing her.

 

[Tate]

Dietary supplements aren't anything to worry about. Smoking doesn't make you lose weight, by the way. That's a myth that was started and ended up getting a lot of teenage girls into smoking. Try getting her to slowly migrate to a cigarillo called "Black 'n Mild". Some people love them. It has nicotine so she'll be able to feed the addiction, but it doesn't have nearly as many toxins as cigarettes have. If she doesn't like them, call some "stop smoking" hotlines and get advice.

 

[Phantomkiller42]

Jeez, i really do feel sorry for you.

I don't know what to say, though.

 

[Solidify]

Dietary supplements aren't anything to worry about. Smoking doesn't make you lose weight, by the way. That's a myth that was started and ended up getting a lot of teenage girls into smoking. Try getting her to slowly migrate to a cigarillo called "Black 'n Mild". Some people love them. It has nicotine so she'll be able to feed the addiction, but it doesn't have nearly as many toxins as cigarettes have. If she doesn't like them, call some "stop smoking" hotlines and get advice.

Yes it does if you cut back on eating meals and smoke inside. If you eat and smoke, no. But that's not my mom's case.

 

[Vanquish]

Whats the big deal with your mother smoking? (I'm not a smoker)
My dad smokes, and I may not like it, but he can't quit because he's been doing it since he was 16.
I'm sure your mom isn't that addicted to it, and I'm glad you want her to quit before she does it for the rest of her life, which is good, but usually smokers smoke because of their mental state of mind, either to get away from depression or other things.
Try to talk to her about it rather than fight.

 

[Solidify]

but usually smokers smoke because of their mental state of mind, either to get away from depression or other things.

And you don't see a problem with that? That people need to smoke to rid their minds of their problems?
That's not normal, not one bit.

Try to talk to her about it rather than fight.

If you would have took the time to read the OP as much as the replies with others, you'd have realized that my mom is not very easy to have a 'sit-down' conversation with.

 

[KaNe]

My parents are split up. I live with both my sisters (22 and 20) and I'm 18. My grandmother moved in with us a while ago. The reason of the move is because she used to live with my uncle but he took his own life and she found him in their cellar. The sight left her distorted in some way so we needed to take her in. You can read about it 'here'.

Since then, my mother's been doing her own thing. She doesn't stay home much anymore and is always at her boyfriend's place because she doesn't get very much time to be out of the house since she's always looking after my grandmother. So she doesn't waste any free time. As soon as someone's home with my grandmother, she takes off for the night. Sometimes she spends the night there.

Bottom line here is that we've all told my mom that her boyfriend's a bad influence. She stared smoking because of him and just yesterday, I found dietary supplements in her medicine cabinet. Not prescription but similar to those '4 hour energy shots'. They're really small. I'm really worried about her health because she's lost a lot of weight because of the combined effects of not eating as well as smoking. At first I was worried about her mental state because I thought she was going to hit a downhill but not it's affection her physical state as well and I would really like to intervene but I've never had to stop my parents, or anyone for that matter, from smoking so I don't know how to do it. I've already tried hiding her cigarettes but she doesn't care. She buys more. She doesn't yell at me asking for them because she knows I'll blast her that she shouldn't smoke.

What should I do?

I actually learned a neat trick last night. My brother and I both have been trying to get our parents to quit for over 10 years now. I learned this trick from my grandmother. Poke a hole through the paper (Not filter) and when she smokes, nothing happens. She'll keep sucking and nothing comes out. It's like trying to drink with a straw out of an empty cup. If you guys don't have money for a nursing home, you surely can't afford ciggarettes I'm guessing. (They're also an extreme amount of money where I live, so there may be a difference.)

---

And you don't see a problem with that? That people need to smoke to rid their minds of their problems?
That's not normal, not one bit.


If you would have took the time to read the OP as much as the replies with others, you'd have realized that my mom is not very easy to have a 'sit-down' conversation with.

It's pleasurable. It really is. I've tried smoking, I didn't like it one bit, but I tried it just to say that I have tried it. It did release some stress. But I'm never doing it again.

 

[Vanquish]

And you don't see a problem with that? That people need to smoke to rid their minds of their problems?
That's not normal, not one bit.


If you would have took the time to read the OP as much as the replies with others, you'd have realized that my mom is not very easy to have a 'sit-down' conversation with.

I definitely too, which is why I don't like smokers, and it's definitely not normal.

I took my time to read the first post, but I'm not going to sit here and read all of the threads.
What's your opinion(s) on what to do about the subject though, now that you have four pages of replies?

 

[Solidify]

I definitely too, which is why I don't like smokers, and it's definitely not normal.

I took my time to read the first post, but I'm not going to sit here and read all of the threads.
What's your opinion(s) on what to do about the subject though, now that you have four pages of replies?

Well I'm going to wait to catch her in the next act and tell her off.

 

[KaNe]

Well I'm going to wait to catch her in the next act and tell her off.

That's not going to do much good. Take it from someone who has done that. It doesn't do anything.

 

[Solidify]

That's not going to do much good. Take it from someone who has done that. It doesn't do anything.

Maybe not but it's all I can think of at the moment without doing anything too radical.

 

[Aidan]

She needs them, with all the stress from your grandmother she needs an escape. Under this circumstance i'd say let her keep smoking, but inform her that if she doesn't take care of herself(eating, pills etc.) that she's not only hurting herself, but you and all your siblings and grandmother. Just some advice.

 

[Solidify]

She needs them, with all the stress from your grandmother she needs an escape. Under this circumstance i'd say let her keep smoking, but inform her that if she doesn't take care of herself(eating, pills etc.) that she's not only hurting herself, but you and all your siblings and grandmother. Just some advice.

The worse part is that you're right and I've considered it before but it's just too hard to bear. I can't stand that she's smoking now because I know that she's better than that.

 

[Fast Don't Lie]

Your mother is coping by using cigarettes as a scapegoat for her stress, which is obvious. But, this is only because she hasn't adapted to the sudden change (secondary stressor). Unfortunately, cigarettes don't do anything good. She's taking those energy dietary supplements (do you know the name btw?) because she's not eating. Replacing food with "energy pills" isn't ideal. She's taking away essential macro nutrients that a human being needs in order to function right by not eating. Smoking + starving and relying on pills = no bueno. If she isn't eating anything, but still taking those pills, I highly suggest throwing that shit away and buying her some nice, enjoyable food. Usually, dietary supplements are expensive and if you throw it out, chances are, she won't buy more. As you know, starving yourself doesn't feel good, especially for prolonged amounts of time. You begin to feel weaker, not only that, you just feel like a pile of shit tbh.

Now, as far as the cigarettes... Is she aware that this is slowly tearing you apart by smoking? If so, does she even care? Does she want to quit smoking them at all?

 

[Solidify]

Your mother is coping by using cigarettes as a scapegoat for her stress, which is obvious. But, this is only because she hasn't adapted to the sudden change (secondary stressor). Unfortunately, cigarettes don't do anything good. She's taking those energy dietary supplements (do you know the name btw?) because she's not eating. Replacing food with "energy pills" isn't ideal. She's taking away essential macro nutrients that a human being needs in order to function right by not eating. Smoking + starving and relying on pills = no bueno. If she isn't eating anything, but still taking those pills, I highly suggest throwing that shit away and buying her some nice, enjoyable food. Usually, dietary supplements are expensive and if you throw it out, chances are, she won't buy more. As you know, starving yourself doesn't feel good, especially for prolonged amounts of time. You begin to feel weaker, not only that, you just feel like a pile of shit tbh.

Now, as far as the cigarettes... Is she aware that this is slowly tearing you apart by smoking? If so, does she even care? Does she want to quit smoking them at all?

I don't see her eat but maybe she eats when no one is home and when she's at her boyfriends house. And I'll have to get back to you on the brand of dietary supplements.

As for the cigarettes, she realizes how much it bugs me having to inhale that fume but she just doesn't stop. At the most, she'll just go outside to smoke. I never asked her if she wants to quite. I just tell her to stop smoking them when she's home.