Lonelyness And Depression

virgil

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I know most of you wont care, half you don't have a reason to give a shit, but i desperately need to get this off my chest.

Recently I have been feeling lonely, only time I don't is when I am with my girlfriend, and she lives 20 miles away and we have no way to get to each other, we have been going out for nearly a year now, we spend a lot of time with each other during school, and at weekends. The lonelyness is slowly starting to rip me apart from the inside, I've tried multiple councilers and all that led to was some un-needed causes of concern about my mental health, when I saw a doctor he tried to put me on anti-depressants but I refused them.
Recently I've been seeing things, the scars up my arm seem to be constantly bleeding when they are not, I keep getting visions from when I used to cut myself and they are starting to haunt me. I keep hearing horrible screams too and voices in my head.

I'm slowly starting to loose my will to live, and I do not know what to do any more.
 
If you can't use transportation you shouldn't be in a long distance relationship.
 
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My response is based on how you feel yourself. It's impossible to post a solution unless I know exactly what goes through your head.


Edit: Reading your edited post makes me further suggest anti-depressants.

If you're feeling low enough to suffer suicidal thoughts, see a doctor (tis what I had to do) and he'll recommend solutions. First one he recommends is counsellors, as you said they don't work though for you. Medication is the second one. I'm on medication, as is a lot of others. It works, but you need to make effort. Make more effort to reach your souce of happiness, IE your girlfriend.

Go out more with friends (better stay as my system admin), or do something in your comfort zone that makes you happy.
 
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Also medication isn't that bad if you have to go on it, I use to have to take it because I was a bi-polar raging retard (ROFL?).. now im over it.. Just don't ever take your life.
 
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Storm Watch said:
Also medication isn't that bad if you have to go on it, I use to have to take it because I was a bi-polar raging retard (ROFL?).. now im over it.. Just don't ever take your life.
Click to expand...

You don't just get over Bipolar. I'm an example.
 
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Zammyslave said:
This may seem dumb but, read my book mate.

It might actually help. And Crayo is right, you need to shake it off, and do what makes you happy.
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Nothing seems to make me happy at the moment, I cant shake everything that's happened which is now haunting me. I've tried hanging out with friends and it made me feel worse. I have tried suicide (not recently) which has led to a very very discussing scar across my wrist, which also haunts me.
 
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Storm Watch said:
Just don't ever take your life.
Click to expand...
Mhm, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporal problem.

I know it's not the looks you're worried about (the scar), but that shouldn't be causing any troubles. It's a reminder of a dumb decision.

Really? Nothing makes you happy? There isn't a single thing, other than your girlfriend, in the whole world that makes you happy? I doubt it, it may be hard to think of it, but there's too many things in life that can make you happy. You'll come across one.
 
If you do try and kill yourself, which hopefully you don't.. try the least painful method.. gun + head.. slitting wrists is soooooo ewwwwwwwwwww.
 
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I have multiple scars from multiple attempts, some are across my neck aswell.

Nothing seems to make me happy, all I've wanted since about 3 years ago is to end my life (I refuse to give in to those temptations)
 
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Storm Watch said:
If you do try and kill yourself, which hopefully you don't.. try the least painful method.. gun + head.. slitting wrists is soooooo ewwwwwwwwwww.
Click to expand...

When I slit my wrist, I severed an artiery, two of my friends came across me bleeding and took me to hospital.
 
Do read my book.

"If something doesn't work, try another thing." - Seriously, even if you lived until you were a hundred years old, you wouldn't try everything that can be tried. That's why I'm sure somethign will make you happy. There's just so many things, it's impossible to not like at least a few.
 
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And what is the left to try, I've tried my friends, I've tried going online, playing games and crap, I've tried buying shit, I've even tried getting 2 cats and a dog, so far nothing except for the company of my girlfriend has made me happy.
 
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Zammyslave said:
Just keep trying. You will never run out of options, unless you do kill yourself, so there's no need for that.
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I don't know what else to try.
 
There's tons of things.

You could start with what you liked to do before you were having this thoughts, things you haven't done in a long time but you remember were fun. Then you could try things you've always wanted to try, but never had the chance. Or the guts. Then go for the dumbest, things that aren't necesarily fun, but funny.

Life had endless possibilities.
 
Respond to what I said. How close are you to your family? Be honest.

If you refuse medication then you're retarded. Seriously. You're a smart kid Virgil, and if you think 3 years of suicide attempts is normal then wow. Medication will help you. You said to me on msn about your Stomach ye? There's lots of anti-depressants which work around things like that.
 
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Not very close.

I refuse medication due to the effects its had on me mother, and my friends when a couple of them got depressed. Wasn't nice, apparently it just makes you feel like shit.
 
Read your post virgil. Anti-Depressants making you feel like shit lol?

No. Stronger ones will as you will feel drowsy and will sleep more. Though you'll be on 20mg or 40mg at max. You just feel a bit happir with them, and less stressed and freaked out all the time.
 
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