Depression and other Disorders

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me 
life story
Ever since i was little i've struggled with depression and suicide issues, including trying to kill myself by slitting my wrists when i was 12 years old. 
It went away a while but i now have it back, bad. i also have some other disorders that i'll be talking about later.
I've tried to kill myself many times, all of which failed. I've been in mental hospitals around where i live, even some people i've talked to say i'm "Uncurable"
I've tried talking to people, but i anger them to the point they've said "you should just kill yourself" only friend i have is @Dusk and he may not know it, but he's literally been keeping me alive. [font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]He's literally the only person i can talk to about this shit, probably because he lived it. I'd like to talk about a few other disorders i have[/font]

Emetophobia: The intense fear of throwing up. or feeling like you're going to throw up for no reason.
OC I have OCD wicked bad, to the point i scream and break shit when i don't have things neat, which causes another chain reaction
ADH I've had this bad ever since i was a kid. i can't sit still. i can't do anything regularly.
Turrets: I had a bad case of turrets when i was little, to the point where i was screaming cuss words at happy events such as fairs. 
it's embarrassed me my whole life and carried with the kids at school from 1st grade to 10th grade (grade i'm in now)

i currently take about 7 pills a day for all this stuff, and i still feel down. it fucking sucks.
i can't find anything besides this forum to make me happy, and tonight I'm really thinking about ending my life. 
My family says i'm selfish and obnoxious when i say this sort of stuff. I fucking hate them and fight with them evert

if anyone knows about any of this stuff, please comment below. i'd be happy to try to help other people with there struggles

 

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I have depression ( doctors told me n shit ykykyk fufu af)

laughter is a great medicine

and drugs but I don't recommend that for a variety of reasons

 

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Don't know how to use this reply shit rip

 

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I actually have Emetophobia, It doesn't ruin me on a personal level but when I eat and my stomach hurts I get scared I might throw up, I only just found out what this word meant yesterday.. I don't know if it's the vomiting that scares me or the feeling sickness, I think if I ever feel sick again rather than hold in trying to vomit I'm just going to push it out so I can get it over and done with.

 

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i used to actually be into a hard drug (coke) also went to rehab for that

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oh yeah I see no real use of coke unless its more religious reasons

Have you read about hallucinogen  therapy ?

 

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I actually have Emetophobia, It doesn't ruin me on a personal level but when I eat and my stomach hurts I get scared I might throw up, I only just found out what this word meant yesterday.. I don't know if it's the vomiting that scares me or the feeling sickness, I think if I ever feel sick again rather than hold in trying to vomit I'm just going to push it out so I can get it over and done with.

its to the point where it makes me sick. it fucking sucks

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oh yeah I see no real use of coke unless its more religious reasons

Have you read about hallucinogen  therapy ?

tried shrooms before, terrible trup. To the point i was seeing my dead family members (i got a few)

 

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its to the point where it makes me sick. it fucking sucks

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tried shrooms before, terrible trup. To the point i was seeing my dead family members (i got a few)

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I know most hard drugs, dont recommend to anybody

LSD is actually calming, in small doses (40ug-90ug) it is a good mood lifter but if you take more than 150+ ug be ready to trip balls for a good while