I don't usually post in these sections, but I thought I'd pitch in - I've gone through a lot of shit as well, I can definitely relate to how you're feeling (at this point of time; it DOES get better).
Don't let your moods get in the way of how you think; I know this is relatively hard to get your head around, especially when you're depressed, but depression is there to make you feel like crap, try not to give in to it by associating with self-harm/suicide, and don't get me wrong this is just, (if not) harder than simply changing how you think.
Suicide is not the answer, people kill themselves because they can't cope with life anymore, right?
They want relief.
Relief is a feeling, and if you're dead, you won't feel that "relief" you're wanting.
If I had the choice to go back say 2-3 years ago for X amount of money, I wouldn't, it was a living hell, battling with my life and my brain, I felt most vulnerable at that time of my life.
You should be proud of yourself for managing to deal with it for 2 years straight, I guarantee you everyone here that's posted has that respect for you.
I could go on for an eternity about this, but I won't, I've said what I think I should say.
If you ever want/need someone to talk to, (this applies to anyone), you can always message me, I've struggled with mental illnesses my whole life.