husband: so here is the story we were doing manly things like having sword fights and stuff so we had to move all of the furniture
Wife: so why did you put everything in front of the door
Husband: because we were playing house
Wife: and the dirty condoms everywhere were for?
Husband: well we started playing cops and robbers and those were are weapons
Wife: so why the hell is there shit on them
Husband: because then after that we we we we.... you know what fuck it im gay, babe you suck in bed and you werent fufiling my needs like you wouldnt even let me put it up yo bum hole
Wife: wtf i am so taking a video on this and putting it on worldstar
Husband: babe no all my friends are gonna laugh at me and kick me out of my fantasy league
Wife no we are done plus i just saved 10% on my car insurance by switching to geico