Wishing you were dead.

Envy

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Some days, you just have a sudden realization of how shitty everything in your life is. You get drunk, or not, and lie down wishing that you would just die in some painless way because being dead seems a whole lot better than your shit life. You're too afraid to actually kill yourself or you're tired of feeling pain, so you wish somebody would do it, painlessly, for you. You end up wishing for somebody illogical, such as God, to do it for you. You wish to do all this because you can't bear it anymore. You can't remember the last time you were happy. You want to see how people will react to your death because that way you would see who really did care.
You wake up the next morning, and resume your life.
 
I wish I was dead almost every other day, it's a quick thought, which usually goes away just as fast as it came into my head, and I think nothing of it. It's usually my response to something that made me really sad or really angry.
 
Anonymous Bill said:
I wish I was dead almost every other day, it's a quick thought, which usually goes away just as fast as it came into my head, and I think nothing of it. It's usually my response to something that made me really sad or really angry.
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Thank you for your response. Have you felt anything similar to what I said above?
 
Valiant said:
Thank you for your response. Have you felt anything similar to what I said above?
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Sort of, I've never really ever came close to committing suicide or anything like that, I've thought about it, but never seriously thought about it, if you know what I mean.
 
Anonymous Bill said:
Sort of, I've never really ever came close to committing suicide or anything like that, I've thought about it, but never seriously thought about it, if you know what I mean.
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Yeah, thanks again, I get what you mean.
 
Michael said:
This is what I feel every day.
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Not my beloved Mirageeee bb Im here to talk all day every day even if my warning level is 90% and clearly shows I'm a delinquent
 

This is my life almost 50% of the time.
I suffer from manic depression.
 
I never really wish I was dead but really to just cease to exist. Everyday I find my self staring at my ceiling wintering why I don't just give up. The only thing that keeps me going is therhougj that loftily I will work out in time.
 
Quite childish in this to be honest. I must say, I've felt similar, but not about petty-bitchy stuff like this. I have gotten pretty deep in thought, thinking about how small I truly am in the scheme of things and wondering what the point is, though. Can't explain it right now, have to kinda be in that mood, but I hate it. I feel trapped and have actually went like a week of feeling uncomfortable in response.
 
I'm with you* on everything but the god part..haha.
 
Pun said:
I've tried to kill myself twice. Instead of people helping me the only thing I got was a felony and a fine for attempted suicide that's life for you.
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That counts because it's still trying to take a life, in this case your own. /:
 
I feel the same way man. You aren't alone, trust me. I have Chronic migraines EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL DAY, which are debilitating headaches which make me nauseous, lightheaded, sensitive to light etc.. I have OCD which intensifies my anxiety about everything. I'm a hypochondriac. Basically it gets so bad I wish something would happen to me, I'm too big of a pussy to do anything myself. I personally wouldn't WANT to die or commit suicide, but at times the thought comes and goes. All you can do is just think about the positive things In life. Like you have a house, a computer, most likely a phone etc. Things get better, I promise.
 
I just want everybody who can relate to my post to know that you're not alone, and apparently a lot of people feel the same way. I'm always open to talk to anybody who needs someone to talk to.

PSAlt I don't even believe in God.
 
I've felt this many time throughout my life, primarily in the last two years of my life, except for I don't have to drink to feel such feelings.
Just the feeling that I'm not good enough for anything, that life is too tough, and me wondering why I am how I am.
I remember ages ago my father found out I was suicidal and he didn't take it well, to cut to the main point he got loads of pills out and told me to do it and I tried, he kicked my ass before I could.
I can say that I don't really fear death, the main reason I'm still here today is primarily due to a few family members.
The thought of me wanting to no longer be apart of my life always haunts me, and I hate it.
 
Sorry if I am gravedigging, this is exactly how I feel quite a bit.
 
If you were a Christian, I would tell you to turn to a pastor or the Bible. If you're not, I would tell you to seek a counselor or a loved one that you can talk to.
 
To anyone who is directing their message towards me, I didn't create this thread for me. I created it for everybody. I know that this is something that people feel, and I want to let them know that they aren't alone.
 
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