Vent

Matigo

sticking crayons in my mouth
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Lets do this.




Childhood:

So all I remember from my childhood was my abusive father, he would always beat the living shit out of me, my sister and my brother. It got so serious to the point where he threw me and my brother at our fridge and got a huge ass whole in the wall. Nothing was done about this, family would always ask 'why do your kids have so many bruises?' and my dad would be like 'oh they work on the farm'.
Fucking hate my dad sometimes, hes a douche bag.
Well we moved to a different city, and he was still abusive, we now have a social worker, this was about 6 years ago, I was in 3rd grade.

Well he finally passed the line when I was in 3rd grade, I was hanging out with some friends at our apartment and I saw this black kid, now he had huge ass buck tooth teeth and I called him bucky. Lol. Well he got his mom and like 10 others and they said I called him a (censored) you guess what they think I said.

Well my dad got upset. He took me by my neck and threw me onto his bed and fucking slapped my face, as hard as he could, for thirty minutes straight. I dont remember much until the next morning. I could not feel my face, it was bruised and bloody, I had sinus infections and my mom finally knew when to call the police. My dad served 8 months in prison for his actions and he did change but I still can not forgive him.


Well now I heard bad news.

My mom, sister and my dad have gotten in a huge accident. Yep. What more can go fucking wrong in my fucking shitty ass life? Yeah this can get worse.
An hour after the call I get another call that my fucking grandpa, out of all people slipped back into a coma. Yeah, so my mom, dad and sister are in the hospital and right now all I got is my grandma.

My life is complete shit.
 
Hey, Sin!

I just want you to realise that you are not alone on this. I have lived in a home with abusive parents and I know exactly what it's like, brother. Your childhood seems traumatic, but you seem fine about it. That's what I like. You've been through a tonne man, and I want to help you with your unfortunate situation. Let's start off with the basics. Your father, he was abusive and the line was crossed and your mother phoned the police. He served 8 months and had changed. I personally believe that you should forgive your father, the past is the past and we need to work in the present to make a good future. Forgiveness is a huge factor in all of this. I can guarantee you will feel better and hopefully make a lasting connection with your father until it's too late, but that's just me and I hope you can take what I'm saying in to consideration.

Now, the accident. I am so sorry that all of this is laying on your shoulders, I can't bear the thought of how stressed you may be. I want to start with some easy stress reduction techniques to help you. These are simple and may seem useless, but they will help you and it will give you better peace of mind. Here are a few techniques:
  • Worry about one thing at a time - Keep your anxiety focused on real, critical matters and tune out imagined ones or those over which you have zero control, and you'll automatically reduce stress overload.

  • Talk about — or write about what's worrying you - Writing or talking about the things in which worry you can reduce stress relief. Use a diary, speak with friends, or use your computer to write a document -- Keep a journal, and write about your worries each day and focus on ways to prevent them.

These are just a few of the multitude of ways in which you can stop stressing over things. I know your problem are major, so please bare in mind that these can work if you set your mind to them. I want to now start with something you stated above yourself in which I find incredibly terrible. "What more can go fucking wrong in my fucking shitty ass life?". I really don't want you to have that mindset. It provokes negativity and this can lead to major depression. I want you to have an exceptional mindset from now on. Ways to do so:
  • Be grateful for what you have right now
  • Avoid any type of negativity
  • Try not to worry

If something bad happens or doesn’t go well, do not worry as much as you should. By possessing this attitude, you are going to believe that everything will be okay or not as bad as it looks or sounds. I know you can do it, Sin. I want you to also know that I am always here for you. Feel free to private message me any time of the day and I will get back to you, I promise buddy. It gets better, remember that.
 
Wow Sinny, you've passed through a lot. @michael left nothing for me to say.
 
Bro the part where the black kid said you called him a bigger happened to me. It wa ur to the fact that I kicked his ass in dogeball.
He told the teach that I called him a ****** an our teacher was black... You can guess what happened xD anyways hope it all works out honey bun.
 
I am sorry to hear this @Sin. Things in life can only get better. Things have to go wrong before they go right.

If you ever need to talk or vent I will gladly help. I am really good at listening and helping people out.
 
Stay strong, man. I know you can get past this. Your future can be whatever you want it to, you just have to work to make it what you want. If it helps at all, just know that we are here for you and want to support you. If you ever want to talk, don't hesitate to PM me or message me on AIM. I'm here for you, bud.
 
Sin said:
@Leader I will message you on AIM tonight man, same with @Beats and most likely @Chic and @Micheal.
Click to expand...

Your tonight would be my tomorrow at school. AIM me anytime by your noon or earlier if you can man
 

@sin,

Dude, no matter how life is in the beginning, all it does is make you who you are and that's becoming a better person.

Your life is not shitty. Someone always has it worse than you. Trust me..

I'm not trying to compare lives here, but just remember that there are people who can relate to your home life and also give you the tools to help yourself function correctly everyday.

If you need something or want to talk more, just let me know, ok?
 
Damn bro, something tells me I helped with you creating a thread to release some of that bottled up emotion? It feels better to get that off your chest doesn't it? I kept my shit to myself for so long little by little until I created my thread and it after that it does feel alot is off my shoulders.

Sometimes in life when it comes to accidents its just..completely outta your hand and only thing you can do is show support and be by their side. The comma thing just consider it an act of god, because although I don't know his situation with his health imma guess he's been suffering with something and you just have to prepare for whats next emotionally.
 
Sin said:
@"Cam Zen" yeah I read your thread and I was like, fuck it.

They are threatening to pull the plug on my grandpa.

So far this hour I have taken 10 pills.
Click to expand...


10 pills?! What pills were there? Why would you do such a thing after what I told you? I know it seems as if it's getting worse and worse but trust me, please don't take any sort of pills. I've attempted to take my own life with pills and I ended up in the ER fighting for my life. Please Sin, put the pills away and fight this, I know you can.
 
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