Soup.

Hello all.

My name is Janette, (You can call me Jan, Jannette or Lol'd). I'm a female, yes. A woman... Not a GIRL, a WOMAN. I live in Queensland, Australia.

I'm 29 years old, and I love to hit lawn bowls on the weekend with my bro's. It's the only exercise I really ever do, I mean I am 29 years of age. What do you guys want? I'll upload some photo's of myself to this thread later, by the way I'm a female. (Inb4 there are no femules on the intrawebz). I have a boyfriend, who is quite large... In a lot of deparments. Mainly the shoe department, not so much... The "package", but that is okay because he knows how to use it!

In my spare time I enjoy writing novels, for the past four years I've been working on a sequel to the last Harry Potter book, the reason for this is because I want to take in J.K.Rowling's footsteps and become a GILF (grandmother I'd love to fuck), and become a millionaire and get loose get laid, and fuck bitches everyday.

Basically if I become a millionaire I wont have to make my living off posting on forums like these, because I make about $10 a day, as I use multiple forums. But of course, being a woman I don't get paid lots in Australia, since really... People are sexist over there. (Feminism FTW). In the past 4 months I've made 62.30 from these websites, which is barely enough to live on. Let's do some math here guys... just over 50 cents a day, so yeah... I don't eat much. (My diet mainly cosists of garbage and free sugars from McDonalds). Recently I've lost a lot of weight I'm 5"8, and I weigh 52kg... So yeah, I think I'm quite skinny. But I'm trying to become a model! (yes, as well as a novel writer)..


ANYWAYS GUYS I'M PROBABLY BORING YOU, CATCHYACUNTS.

You sound cute, want to fuck?
I know it isn't appropriate to say this on the internet because of the breeding group that these HACKERS breed from.
My cat says "meow" which means "Can I have your number?" in English, it's only his native language but he speaks it very fluently.
Maybe we can go for a walk along the beach and have a lobster dinner after we get back from our honeymoon which is planned August 21nd in commemoration of my dad when he cheated on me with my mom's sister (yes, my mom was in on it so it was a threesome).
Just reading your introduction has made me horny, so I have been masterbating the whole time, I hope that's ok with you.
Add me to your buddy list so that we can maybe meet in real life and I can infect your computer with a RAT, is that ok?
I think I've met met first true love. Can we be bros? I'm sorry if I'm asking for too much.. I'm going to fucking slit my wrists if you say no to me you damn bitch.

Rustypimpledick,

Though your name really does send me a tingle downstairs, I am afraid I will have to decline your offer. My boyfriend read this, over my shoulder. I would have accepted, however he got angry and threatened to put me in his rape dungeon. (My boyfriend is Alf Stewart, yes). I have a cat too, her name is Sally. I'm considering putting her in my oven this winter to eat as a, roast... What are your thoughts on this? Also, I'm sorry to say I am allergic to lobster, or so, seafood in general. I am sorry to hear about your Dad cheating on you with your Mother's sister, however Dad's can be assholes like that. It is fine that you have been masturbating, I would have done so whilst doing this but my boyfriend would have wanted some, which is something I cannot do at this time of month. Mastubration is self-pleasure, there is nothing wrong witht that. I would not mind meeting you in real life, but I would rather not have a RAT inside my computer, as I'm sure it would make a bit of noise, until it dies. After it dies, well... I'm sure it will smell a little bit. I'm sorry, I really hope you do not slit your wrists, but we can be friends, just not fuck buddys.

Yours sincerely, Janette.

I wanted you to decline my offer, reverse psychology bitch, but I didn't know that I would feel so heartbroken after reading what you just sent to me.
It feels as if your spit is still trickling off my ballsac from earlier but it's only sweat forming as my laptop overheats in my lap.
What's it like to masturbate as a girl? Do your fingers turn red or is that only a one time thing? Because if I have to eat out a girl and she bleeds all over my face I think I might die.
I still want to be fuck buddies, if that's ok.
I'm a bodybuilder and I can crush your boyfriend like a soda can, want to see my huge pecks?

Rustypimpledick,

I would possibly accept sexual favours from you. However, I am unable to answer your questions as I have never masturbated on my period, I'm not sure if I'd like to try, it would probably be a little bit disgusting. Though I am sure somebody out there has done it, and cvan answer your question!

Regards,
Janette.

Can you masterbate while thinking about me, while on your period? If so it would be great if you could record it with my new handheld camera so that I can fap to it while PvPing on this cool game I play called MapleStory.
Answer me ASAP, peace baby.