Skipped School, gimme excuses.

TL;DR - I missed the bus, can't call my mom, can't drive there, don't wanna walk there. What do I say to her when she gets home?

Well, I missed the bus today cuz this morning was one of those morning where I had to use the bathroom before I left and I couldn't hold it in.
So I missed the bus, and I can't drive yet. My mom left a few minutes before I got my stomach ache, and I have no way of calling her cuz my new phone isn't activated yet (I was going to activate it after school today).

My school sends an e-mail to her every time I'm absent, but I know her e-mail account info so I'm hoping I can delete it before she gets home (if she gets home later) so she won't see and ask.
I missed school last monday too (she let me stay home, along w/ all my other absences), but I don't think she'd be happy with me staying home today if she found out. :S

Halp. Wat do?

Either tell her what happened for real or make it like you were never home then you just have to worry about the school. For me my school calls my house so i have to delete the message on the answering machine Best of luck

You woke up and had a really bad upset stomach and weren't feeling good at all, and you were on the toilet and missed your bus. You're feeling better now though.

What you do is, play xbox until she gets home, right before she comes in you take your power supply, controller etc and put it on her bed. Explain that you have been pooping / vomiting all day and to show that you are really sick you put your gaming stuff on the bed to show you have been sleeping / recooping. be sure to either put medicine for your sickness on the counter / next to where you are "Laying down" as evidence (be sure to pour some out) if you do not have it, walk to the store / gas station and buy some, dump some out. that should cover your ass lol.
If worse comes to worse walk your ass to school haha

Just be straight with her. If she gets upset it'll be a lot less serious than you telling a lie. If you explain to her what happened she might let it go and if not, you don't have this lie you're worried about her uncovering. It's a win win really.

This is obvious, just tell her you were to busy shooting up harrowin.

Fuck school nigga imma be a dope dealer.

Just say explosive diarrhea, it always works. Tell her to pick up some pepto on the way home so it all works out.

Say you had a bad case of the shits

Say you started throwing up before the bus arrived. It was bad and then you started to feel a little bit dizzy and nauseous.
Say you walked home, took some Advil/Tylenol , and went to sleep.

Well she came home early, but when she came home I was already in the bathroom so I told her I had diarrhea and stayed in the bathroom for about another 5-10 mins.
She seemed like she didn't even care and didn't bother saying anything about it after. She just went to sleep after she got home.

Thanks for the excuses guys, I will be sure to use them for next time.