From now, until I decide to quit doing this, I will provide the forum with some hilarious jokes, music, videos, or pictures that entertain myself, and that I think will entertain all of you.
Not to mention I will do this EVERY day
I will try my very best to play a role on Runegear.net by doing this, and I hope I succeed.
I will post every weeks updates in this thread, by adding to this thread. Hopefully eventually this will be stickied, and I will be able to create individual threads so that they do not get lost in all the threads.
Today's funny picks. Day One
#1:
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEm2AccPnso[/video]
#2:
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
#3:
Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!
Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
#4: Funny Pick-up Lines
Do you work at subway, because your really giving me a footlong
Do you work at a barber shop, because your really giving me head
You make my software hardware
That's Todays Jokes Folks,
Hope you had a good laugh
:laugh:
Day 2
[size=xlarge]1.[/size]
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKwfnLMc2o[/video]
2.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
3.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."
A blond is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over.
The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No".
So he radios the station and asks what to do.
The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvet?" and the cop replies "Yes".
So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her".
So the cop does exactlly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick.
The blond "sighs" and says please not another breathalizer test.
4.
Are you a sargeant? Cause you make my privates stand up straight.
If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole
I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
That's day two of the jokes, hope they lightened your mood
:tongue2:
Day 3:
1.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCPY96Frtyw[/video]
2.
A couple of older bums are relaxing on a park bench, bored out of their minds. They're not the brightest of crayons, but are known to be pretty resourceful - especially when bored.
So one of them says to the other, "What are we gonna do today?"
The other replies, "Well, how much money have you got?"
They both rummage through their pockets, emptying several days worth of lint and toothpics, managing to put together about four dollars and some change.
The first one says, "We can't do much with 4 bucks. Maybe we should just go home?"
The other, excited, replies, "Nah! Let's go buy a box of tampons!"
"Tampons? What are we gonna do with tampons?"
"Haven't you seen those TV commercials? With tampons we can run, and hike and swim, even go dancing. We need some tampons!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what's going on. "Playing cards," she replies. "Who's your partner?" asked little johnny. "Your father!"
Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister's room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. "Playing cards." "With who?" he asks. "My boyfriend!" she says.
A short while later, Little Johnny's father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny's room. He knocks on the door and asks "What are you doing?" "Playing cards!" replied Johnny. "Who's your partner?" asked his father...
Little Johnny answers promptly, "With a hand like this who needs a partner?"
3.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.
-
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes at a four way stop.
-
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
4.
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
Hope you enjoyed todays jokes :smiley: Tune in tomorrow for some more.
Day 4
1.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME[/video]
2.
How do you get a one armed doofus out of a tree?
Wave to him
Sorry guys i'm busy today, so only 2 jokes.
Not to mention I will do this EVERY day
I will try my very best to play a role on Runegear.net by doing this, and I hope I succeed.
I will post every weeks updates in this thread, by adding to this thread. Hopefully eventually this will be stickied, and I will be able to create individual threads so that they do not get lost in all the threads.
Today's funny picks. Day One
#1:
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEm2AccPnso[/video]
#2:
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
#3:
Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!
Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
#4: Funny Pick-up Lines
Do you work at subway, because your really giving me a footlong
Do you work at a barber shop, because your really giving me head
You make my software hardware
That's Todays Jokes Folks,
Hope you had a good laugh
:laugh:Day 2
[size=xlarge]1.[/size]
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKwfnLMc2o[/video]
2.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
3.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."
A blond is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over.
The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No".
So he radios the station and asks what to do.
The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvet?" and the cop replies "Yes".
So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her".
So the cop does exactlly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick.
The blond "sighs" and says please not another breathalizer test.
4.
Are you a sargeant? Cause you make my privates stand up straight.
If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole
I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
That's day two of the jokes, hope they lightened your mood
:tongue2:
Day 3:
1.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCPY96Frtyw[/video]
2.
A couple of older bums are relaxing on a park bench, bored out of their minds. They're not the brightest of crayons, but are known to be pretty resourceful - especially when bored.
So one of them says to the other, "What are we gonna do today?"
The other replies, "Well, how much money have you got?"
They both rummage through their pockets, emptying several days worth of lint and toothpics, managing to put together about four dollars and some change.
The first one says, "We can't do much with 4 bucks. Maybe we should just go home?"
The other, excited, replies, "Nah! Let's go buy a box of tampons!"
"Tampons? What are we gonna do with tampons?"
"Haven't you seen those TV commercials? With tampons we can run, and hike and swim, even go dancing. We need some tampons!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what's going on. "Playing cards," she replies. "Who's your partner?" asked little johnny. "Your father!"
Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister's room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. "Playing cards." "With who?" he asks. "My boyfriend!" she says.
A short while later, Little Johnny's father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny's room. He knocks on the door and asks "What are you doing?" "Playing cards!" replied Johnny. "Who's your partner?" asked his father...
Little Johnny answers promptly, "With a hand like this who needs a partner?"
3.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.
-
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes at a four way stop.
-
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
4.
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
Hope you enjoyed todays jokes :smiley: Tune in tomorrow for some more.
Day 4
1.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME[/video]
2.
How do you get a one armed doofus out of a tree?
Wave to him
Sorry guys i'm busy today, so only 2 jokes.
