fluent english? please look

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Loyal

Onyx user!
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How can i say this in a good structure, i copied this from a website, but i dont think its right-

This photograph shows a pregnant Doberman
Kissing A firefighter. He had just saved her from
a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her
out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight
the fire.
 
This photograph portrays a pregnant Doberman kissing a firefighter, who had just saved her from a fire in her house. While carrying her out of the house and into the front yard, he continued to battle the fire.

That's the best I could do, hope I could help!
 
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