Depressed | venting

I honestly get to the point where I cant take shit anymore and it gets annoying. My therapist is utter shit, he literally treats me like shit and talks shit to me. Half our sessions he's on the phone with fucking who knows who and when something does make me happy he tells me I cant have it. Dont post shit like "Oh its probably for your best interest, or its all in your head" cause I promise you is not. Also to those who are gonna say "Why not just leave him" well I cant cause my mom fucking worships everything he says. I get treated like shit practically everywhere I go.. My therapist, my house, my "friends" house, school, people I talk to on skype. I literally have 0 real friends, yeah im lam say w/e u want wouldnt be the first person, and my only friend online is a programming friend who has lower tolerance and is often a prick due to that. Cutting doesn't even help anymore and I want to die but tbh nobody cares and thats what bothers me the most. Tired of being alone on the computer or watching anime all day cause no one likes me. And yes I didn't self diagnose myself with depression, my doctor diagnosed me with ADD, Major Depression and Dysthymia. It's been years that I've been like this and I keep telling myself I can't last another year like this and funny enough each year gets worse. I've had close friends of mine die and leave me. and tbh it doesnt stop. Being on the internet just makes it worse but it sucks because the only thing I enjoy in life besides anime is programming and programming consists of being on the computer and internet so im fucked. School ends in a few weeks and im scared of what I might end up doing during summer. So lost and tired.
tl;dr
im tired of everything

oh and Tattoo if you read this dont bring this up in school....

Come chill with me dude, theres nothing to be sad about life goes on.
Hmu on skype dude and we should hang out sometime, I know you may think you have no one but I know alot of people care about you.

Honestly man you can't let what others say to you affect you. It stops with you speaking up for yourself, setting your foot down and making a change with how your life is running.

Take a deep breathe and ask yourself who you really are as a person. What changes can you truthfully make to better yourself? Separate from the people bringing you down? Who supports you?

Talking to people about your problems is one of the best ways of coping with this sort of thing. I'm positive myself, and many others will help you out. Trust me, majority of people will, or already have been through a long stage of depression. Myself included. Forgive yourself, and the others who have hurt you.

Would you like an invite to the anime skype group chat? The only asshole in it is @package

Cam said:

Honestly man you can't let what others say to you affect you. It stops with you speaking up for yourself, setting your foot down and making a change with how your life is running.

Take a deep breathe and ask yourself who you really are as a person. What changes can you truthfully make to better yourself? Separate from the people bringing you down? Who supports you?

Talking to people about your problems is one of the best ways of coping with this sort of thing. I'm positive myself, and many others will help you out. Trust me, majority of people will, or already have been through a long stage of depression. Myself included. Forgive yourself, and the others who have hurt you.

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Thanks man I agree but its hard for me. I've neverrrr stood up for myself like people do whatever the fuck they want with me but I find it so hard to stand up for myself. I guess I dont want to embarrass myself or some shit (I know it sounds stupid) and also I don't want to sound rude or mean EVEN if they did something mean/bad to me I don't want to hurt their feelings. I know I sound dumb but I've said plenty things in the past that I really regret saying and wish i could take back so now I try my hardest to control what I say but I occasionally slip. As for separating myself from people who bring me down its hard because those are the only people I have. If I don't have them I'm alone which is just as bad to me. I appreciate that you'd guys would help me though. Thanks for reply

Deviate said:

Would you like an invite to the anime skype group chat? The only asshole in it is @package

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if ur srs yeh i guess but not rn not in the best mood and dont wanna idk depress everyone and im sure hes fine

I understand where you're coming from. It's hard to stand up for yourself if you aren't used to. You just have to build the courage to do it.

I'll be here if you need to talk.

I feel you on this shit. Going through pretty much the same over here. If you need to talk about shit pm me.

I know how you feel, man. I have been dealing with a LOT of shit recently. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you EVER want to talk. Keep your head up and remember, life is full of obstacles, and it's not about how you fall down, but it's about how you get back up again.

Go to a summer camp. Honestly its like a rehab. You'll be surprised how free you feel when you come back! Eat bananas too and be more positive. Find something to live for. Find something to do thats productive! Get involved in a charity, get a job, write poems. Depression is hard, but you need to realize its just another emotion. It's not this endless tiger trap. Emotions pass. Depression can feel especially hard since our brain doesn't like bad feelings.

Don't cut yourself. Do drugs. I'd literally like it more if you did LSD and Shrooms rather than cut yourself. Don't be fucking weird.

Hey, add me one Skype: DigitalPred
We can talk and what not. Severe depression runs in my family.

Name said:

I know how you feel, man. I have been dealing with a LOT of shit recently. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you EVER want to talk. Keep your head up and remember, life is full of obstacles, and it's not about how you fall down, but it's about how you get back up again.

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Thanks man and same here

Yeti said:

Go to a summer camp. Honestly its like a rehab. You'll be surprised how free you feel when you come back! Eat bananas too and be more positive. Find something to live for. Find something to do thats productive! Get involved in a charity, get a job, write poems

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Haha good advice actually sounds relaxing as long as summer camp isn't outside cuz I'm allergic to ants and Mosquitos .-. But yeh idk I just need people/friends that like me been feeling too lonely

If you want to talk about hit, you can always shoot me a PM.

Find clarity in your life.

Sit down and think about the things that make you happy, focus on them, center your life around them.

I can't be having you upset my boy, You can always talk with me about your problems. This isn't a joke nor a harmful joke. I'm being honest, if you have any worries just come talk with me and we can have a depressed day or some shit. It'll be fun/sad. I guess.