a lot on my mind..

Agony

discord: aguny
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yet too much to explain. Sometimes I wonder if everyone hits a midlife crisis, and if so when, and if so, why is it that it seems I've hit mine numerous times over?

maybe it's my lack of sleep each night thats gets me into these thoughts, perhaps its middlemanning a deal and watching my boy get scammed cause ths other guy social swaps the tag... misery's one of my best friends.

It's why I go by as agony, why I wasted countless dollars on such alias', ... Ones I can never use... Perhaps its insanity taking me...

is one insane if they live each day pretending they aren't ?

tldr; bored . late. Anyone see the new Joker?
 
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I suppose insanity is your mental health speaking to you that you may need help, I suffer with depression and hide it a lot, i take tablets every day to feel some what normal whilst searching for the purpose of life even though i’ll never find it.

I do as much as I can to occupy my mind so I don’t think of anything rash, and when I do I struggle to deal with my inner demons.

You need to figure out what you want to do in life and strive towards a goal, get good sleep, I stuggle with insomnia also, I only get a couple hours a day, or even that.
 

I guess last night idk I was feeling just like shit and I'd like to say I feel better with this post. I also got a call, got a job , starting tomorrow which is sooner than expected which is good. I definitely need to see my Doc, I havent been lately. I was taking meds but I felt no different taking them so I stopped.. I probably need to reevaluate some things. This is even harder to explain, but also just this morning I had a TIA (version of a stroke, a mini stroke basically) after taking a pretty big bowl hit. Probably gunna stop smoking like I do, 4th time its happened...
 
I take Lexapro for depression/anxiety and it helps me (kinda sounds like @Desiqn honestly) feel a bit more social and less in my head. I used to abuse alcohol a lot until I got a DWI and I haven't had a drop since. I have a bit of insomnia as well but I do what I can to hold down a job and try to finish up college.
 
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My best advice my friend.... Sometimes you have to just look into the mirror, SLAP yourself and say wake the !@#$ up stop being a WEENE. I often get into little weird depressed spirts and honestly the only way to snap out is to believe you are doing better. Get out more also if you don't. Not to just drink and get messed up but to just see the beauty around you and meet new people.
 
I wouldn't personally stop taking meds if I needed them. Not without weaning myself off of them with my doctor's guidance. Shit takes ages to get out of your system and the withdrawal feelings aren't nice. Makes you feel like you aren't a 'normal' person.

I don't have insomnia but I used to struggle falling asleep.
I haven't been in a few months and I've gotten chonky again, but the gym made me feel energetic through the day and tired at night. Some people say that keto diets energise them a lot. That's my next try! (Along with the gym, finally...)

Otherwise, I just try to better my quality of life, whether it be my income or activities or hobbies etc. It's good to get out and do your thing, do things you like and try to enjoy your own company.

Sorry that none of this seems to be advice at all lmao, I just started typing and yeah,
Love yourself brother, be the best you that you can achieve to be. YOU are the protagonist in your life after all.
 

Thanks for the advice. My recent episodes are likely because I abrubtly stopped taking my meds. I arranged a Docs appointment, figuring things out. Thanks for the advice though, I know I need to focus on getting back to a normal routine filled with daily activities. Im workin on it.
 
Looks like you haven't been to therapist Puck in a bit, you know the door is always open free of charge
 
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