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Advice?

Savage

Onyx user!
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7/22/2016

Okay well, I don't really know where to begin. My girl, well now my ex.. She cheated on me about a week or so ago. We're still talking now just as friends, but she asked me if I thought me and her would ever get back together, Half of me says yes and half says no. I could say yes because I still love her to death since she was the first girl I've ever fallen in love with, we dated for about 4-5 years from when I was 12 to 17(now), and well it's gonna be really hard for me to not talk and be with somebody that I spent so much of my life with. And I could say no because well, I don't really know what else she's done behind my back, and I truly think that if somebody hurt you one time or lied to you about it that they will eventually do it again because if you let them get away with it then they would have no problem doing it again thinking that you'll just forgive them for a second time.​

Anyways, I don't know if this is the right place to post this. But yeah, I just need help I don't know what to do or think about all of this. I hope all of you have a good day/night.​






8/8/2016

Edit: Well, I ended up taking her back about a week ago.. And so far she has been showing she cares so much more and hasn't been acting weird or acting like she's doing anything behind me back. We spend a lot of time together and everything is just great now. :p I'm happy again, no I don't fend on her for my happiness but she is a really big contribution to my happiness.​

Anyways, I'm just hoping all goes well from now on. She explained to me everything on why she did it, and well knowing me.. I forgave her because I can't keep a grudge against anybody. Sorry to the people that thought I should've just left, but thank you everyone for the advice!​
 

Chill

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I've been in the same situation once before only we broke up and she had sex with somebody, then we got back together.

Personally I don't think anybody can give you advice on this dude, it's something you have to experience yourself and make a decision based on your own thoughts. In my situation we got back together and let me tell you, it was hell. It was all rosey for about 5-6 months then it just went peared shaped for no apparent reason. If I were to give any advice it'd be move on. As hard as it sounds it normally is the best option, stay friends and just fly solo for a while until you meet somebody else.

Situation 2: If she genuinely cares about you and actually wants to work things out don't make it easy for her. Make her show you that she does indeed love you, don't be the one trying to chase her after her actions.
 

Savage

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Chill said:
I've been in the same situation once before only we broke up and she had sex with somebody, then we got back together.

Personally I don't think anybody can give you advice on this dude, it's something you have to experience yourself and make a decision based on your own thoughts. In my situation we got back together and let me tell you, it was hell. It was all rosey for about 5-6 months then it just went peared shaped for no apparent reason. If I were to give any advice it'd be move on. As hard as it sounds it normally is the best option, stay friends and just fly solo for a while until you meet somebody else.

Situation 2: If she genuinely cares about you and actually wants to work things out don't make it easy for her. Make her show you that she does indeed love you, don't be the one trying to chase her after her actions.

Most likely gonna take the "Situation 2" thing, because I always give second chances to everyone usually sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't. But, I really hope she learned from what she did and hopefully doesn't try to do anything like that again. She's honestly amazing in so many ways, despite what she did I still love her more than anything so yeah. Anyways, thank you!
 

smalls

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I would not get back with her she cheated on you!!

she'll most likely do the same thing again, just friendly advice...
 

Savage

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WuTang said:
I would not get back with her she cheated on you!!

she'll most likely do the same thing again, just friendly advice...

Yes, she cheated on me. 
But tell me this, if you dating the same person from a kid to an adult and you fell in love with said person, cared for them more than anything else in the world. Would you be able to give up that easy? I dunno maybe I'm just too much of a softy haha.
 

smalls

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Golem said:
Yes, she cheated on me. 
But tell me this, if you dating the same person from a kid to an adult and you fell in love with said person, cared for them more than anything else in the world. Would you be able to give up that easy? I dunno maybe I'm just too much of a softy haha.
you are very much a softy, being a softy gets you cheated on. Just saying!!!
 

Savage

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WuTang said:
you are very much a softy, being a softy gets you cheated on. Just saying!!!
Well, I have gained a lot of respect with the way I act now. I'm not very ashamed of it, but I do get tired of somewhat being used because of how nice I am to everyone.
 

Chill

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WuTang said:
you are very much a softy, being a softy gets you cheated on. Just saying!!!
You're an idiot.

Being a softy doesn't get you cheated on, you have no idea who he is or who she is. You have no idea of either of their situations.
 

smalls

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Chill said:
You're an idiot.

Being a softy doesn't get you cheated on, you have no idea who he is or who she is. You have no idea of either of their situations.
very very true, but it did in my case. 
I'm talking from personal experience..

 

Savage

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Chill said:
You're an idiot.

Being a softy doesn't get you cheated on, you have no idea who he is or who she is. You have no idea of either of their situations.
Heyyyy now, no need for the names man.
 

Rare

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WuTang said:
very very true, but it did in my case. 
I'm talking from personal experience..





Personal experience? Your last date was probably over Skype and were edating for 3 weeks and she showed another guy her tits.

OP: Please just listen to Chill or anyone else over the age of like 17, sorry to hear about this.
 

smalls

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Rare said:
Personal experience? Your last date was probably over Skype and were edating for 3 weeks and she showed another guy her tits.

OP: Please just listen to Chill or anyone else over the age of like 17, sorry to hear about this.
i don't speak retard/edate? what you saying boy?
 

Therapy

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WuTang said:
i don't speak retard/edate? what you saying boy?

He is saying you are young, and you most likely have no experience with girls.


Sorry to hear about this fam. Like @Rare said, listen to @Chill or someone who is an actual adult.
 

smalls

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Therapy said:
He is saying you are young, and you most likely have no experience with girls.


Sorry to hear about this fam. Like @Rare said, listen to @Chill or someone who is an actual adult.
he's actually a year younger than me, which is pretty funny.
 

Therapy

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WuTang said:
he's actually a year younger than me, which is pretty funny.

I was not saying anyone is different ages, nor did I know both of your ages. It was just a common sense post saying to let an adult or someone who has legit experience with multiple females to reply.


OT, good luck finding out what to do.
 

Savage

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Therapy said:
I was not saying anyone is different ages, nor did I know both of your ages. It was just a common sense post saying to let an adult or someone who has legit experience with multiple females to reply.


OT, good luck finding out what to do.
Thanks fam, despite the fact that this thread kinda turned out wrong with everyone arguing. You all had some pretty valuable points in this situation, I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do though, it'll probably take a few days for me to make my decision.
 

Joker

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Golem said:
Thanks fam, despite the fact that this thread kinda turned out wrong with everyone arguing. You all had some pretty valuable points in this situation, I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do though, it'll probably take a few days for me to make my decision.

Let it take days dude, if you don't you'll jump into something and it could cause an outburst in a few days.

Lay low, be friends. Don't straight take her back, she'll feel like all is forgiven and you're easy.

My tip, be you.. find you for the next few days, see how you feel.. go and do your hobbies and live life and see if you really do miss her, if you do.. check up on her. If she's still texting you and really misses you you're showing her how much she really liked you, which is good.. she will learn her lesson and may not do it again but no one knows, that's the thing about relationships they can always take the turn.

You've got to ask yourself, would you accept being hurt one more time to show you that you don't need her? that's if she hurts you again.
 

Savage

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Joker said:
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Let it take days dude, if you don't you'll jump into something and it could cause an outburst in a few days.[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Lay low, be friends. Don't straight take her back, she'll feel like all is forgiven and you're easy.[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]My tip, be you.. find you for the next few days, see how you feel.. go and do your hobbies and live life and see if you really do miss her, if you do.. check up on her. If she's still texting you and really misses you you're showing her how much she really liked you, which is good.. she will learn her lesson and may not do it again but no one knows, that's the thing about relationships they can always take the turn.[/font]

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]You've got to ask yourself, would you accept being hurt one more time to show you that you don't need her? that's if she hurts you again.[/font]
This was the best reply out of all of these, thank you. I actually really agree with you on this, I need to take some time to find myself and figure out what I want to do, what will keep me happy. All while somewhat finding out if she really did like me, and if she may or may not feel bad for what she had done, And about the last thing you said I'm not really sure on that, I tend to forgive everyone and still end up getting hurt once again by said person that I had forgiven. But hopefully, if I do forgive her, and take her back after I think for awhile.. She doesn't decide to do it again.​

Tbh, I really would send you rep for you replying with this but I don't think I'm able too until I upgrade haha.​
Anyways, Thank you once again.
 

coltie2

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If sorry but she cheated on you. Have some dignity and move on please.


Unless she is your DREAM girl and you want nothing more then her. If that isn't the case you need to move on
 

Savage

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coltie2 said:
If sorry but she cheated on you. Have some dignity and move on please.


Unless she is your DREAM girl and you want nothing more then her. If that isn't the case you need to move on


It'd be kinda hard for me to move on after almost 5 years with her though.
 
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